Employ the non-athletic

Okay, so now's the time for me to run over a list of why I've been so busy that I haven't posted. First, you guys caught me at the end of my school year, so I had to deal with a plethora of things, such as creating a film for my senior project, creating a video for an english project, calculus exams (though I barely studied...er...rarely...) that I didn't study for, not mention a paper for english, which was enjoyable.

My paper was on how well zombies were incorporated into "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies" by Seth Grahame-Smith. To start, I wasn't informed that the book, which we had to buy, came in a week before I got it. From there, the workload I had made it so that in one night, I had to write the paper, and edit the english video. I couldn't finish the book in time, so with a few well placed illustrations, I was able to fumble my way through it. The paper was required to be 4 pages, yet I managed to make 6. On top of that, I got a reference more than what was required, using a movie and a dictionary for two of them. I am good with minimal effort, as can obviously be seen by my lack of articles here.

After school finished up for me (I regret not doing anything cool for the last day), I worked on employment. Unfortunately, KFC/Taco Bell was the one that was hiring, and showed interest in me. Feeling confident that I could beat out 2 other people (hiring 5, 7 applicants), I didn't apply elsewhere (not to mention nobody else was hiring). I was called in for interviews, and was told they'd get back to me when they made a decision. I've waited for about 3 weeks now, and I've had to call many times just to speak with somebody. It's annoying, and now it's too late to find any position willing to hire somebody with a screwed up schedule (Marching band makes weekends a pain to navigate around) and who's going to be leaving at the end of August for college.

It's frustrating to me that the only way to get a job is either through family connections, or to be an athlete in your home town. I hate it so much that my friend has 2 jobs, and is trying to get a third, and yet I can't even get anything more than freelance and weekend jobs. I want something fulltime, and I know several people with this problem. You cannot get a job without experience, but you can't get experience without a job.

Screw that. I promise that if I get rich, I'll pay kids who I deem worthy better wage to do something. I don't know what. It might be somebody to help me get better at FEAR, my current addiction (gamer tag is A-Helpless-Kid). It may be somebody who'll work on making a way for me to not smell like a combination of cigarettes and cheese (parmasean). I don't care, but it's not fair that we ignore people who are invaluable to work over somebody who's either incompetent, or has income...

Go ahead and reply with whatever. It's not like you read this blog anyway.

Fine Facebook abusers

I am a giant fan of creativity. By that, I mean I LOVE it when somebody takes

"Add signs to make 15 34 56 50 20 10 = 17" into "15 - (34-56-5)(0) + (20/10) = 17"

Thinking outside the box gets you places. If not academically (teachers don't like smartasses), then mentally. Recently, I had to write an introduction speech for a famous person in one of my classes. We were only allowed to use positives, as it was to motivate an audience into welcoming the guest. Most chose sports figures, or actors. I chose Adolf Hitler, and was praised by the teacher for how well I performed (she called the person a little unorthodox).

This would've been enough mind candy for me, but somebody, when I asked who they thought it was (you were supposed to leave the name out of it, almost like a contest), said "Jesus". I fought very hard to control my laughter, but inside every ounce of hate melted for a brief moment as the world's greatest joke came into play.

According to this person, Jesus is equal to Hitler. Let me rephrase that in math terms.

Jesus = Hitler

So, that's pretty much it for that story. Next up, I'd like to say that I'm tired of Facebook. More or less, I'm tired of seeing status messages like, "I'm tired of the world, it's growing cold. The dark clouds firing overhead". It makes me want to go do them a favor and give them cyanide capsules for their own descretion.

Worse than that, though, is the song lyrics. Like they didn't even try. "And she's buying a stairway to heaven"...is it that hard to just put, "I love the song Stairway to heaven"

OR

Do what I do, and make the status message one sentence, which looks nicer, and doesn't piss me the fuck off so I have to make stupid little rants like this one.

However, nothing, and I mean nothing, compares to the amount of rage I feel when I see one person's status update. It's the same every fucking day. "Love you forever and ever"..."Is missing my baby. Forever and ever." It gets progressively worse. "I love you (name) forever and ever, I'm missing you, Love you baby." ... "I know things are hard right now, but it's gonna be alright. I love you forever and ever and ever and ever, Missing you and thinking of you always (Name) forever and ever, Love you baby"

I want to punch this person in the face when I see their status messages.

So, we've pretty much covered the status updaters. The drama queens, the lyrics, the relationship freaks...oh yea, I forgot the normal people who put, "going to friends. Be back later"...and people like me. Some of my recent posts:

"Adam may or may not be Jesus."
"Adam can fly in his dreams. He cannot fly in real life. Thus, he is sad."
"Adam wishes for telekenesis."
"Adam may not be the bomb, but he's still liable to explode."

I like the updates you can laugh at. That's my type of updates. Occasionally, I'll toss a link up for an Awesome show. Or something like that. I just get tired of seeing people's attempts to spill their guts out on Facebook. I have been guilty of this crime, though, so I feel ashamed. However, after a swift kick in the ass, I'm back on track, spreading the random word around like a virus.

Some quick notes. The new Star Trek was awesome, as was "Miss March". The Whitest Kids U' Know are some of the most talented comedians in history, and I hope they flourish for a long time. A very long time.

Well, I'm tired. I'll wrap this up with a good old fashioned generic line like this one and call it a night.

Feel happier

I'm not really in the mood to write today, but it's been a while since the previous blog, so I figure I should at least give you something to keep you occupied.

Really, it's just that I'm tired of problems. I feel like I've got so much shit going on, when really it's nothing. I have to make a movie for a senior project. I have to write a decent sized paper for an English class, which isn't too terrible. I have to deal with a chorus and band class that has lost all sense of enjoyment for me, and has become dismal and bleak. On top of all of this, I have to deal with the constant barricade of being one of the only single people in my circle of friends. If I'm not one of the only single people, I'm one of the only virgins in my circle of friends. If I'm not one of those, I'm the only one in my circle of friends that can actually think with their brain instead of their genitals.

I'm tired of drama. I'm fed up with school, as it annoys me to the point where I'm finding it hard to put a positive spin on coming in each day. The only thing keeping me going through school is the fact that lunch is cheaper.

It's not a matter of senioritis. It's a matter of a low stupidity tolerance. I'm annoyed at a teacher's constant stupidity to not accept any creative answers or methods. I'm annoyed at one's astounding ability to attempt to teach fun. I'm tired of having to go through each day and have to deal with people's stupidity. I'm tired of the meaning of the word 'Respect' being 'Unquestioned obedience'. My birthday lands on the last day. I swear, I'm going to ditch, and spend all day flipping the school off in a lawn chair blasting a boombox full of awesome music from their front lawn.

Fix the weather and expose Robert Frost

I don't know what it is about where I live. The past week, I've seen it rain, snow, and even hail. However, these are all between bouts of fantastic sunshine. In fact, just the past two days it has been so hot that my friend and I broke a sweat playing World of Warcraft!!! And we weren't even doing any serious questing! I have thought at great length what course of action we should take to combat this new foe, "Weather." Logically, my solution is to



We currently have our greatest minds on that challenge...

Onward to bigger and better things. And by that, I mean the rest of this post. I've realized that for me to attempt and post more than once a week is going to frustrate me. As much as I'd love to share insights and events with you, I really wouldn't be able to live up to the commitment.

So, every week check back and see if I've posted something new...or follow me. I'm always good for that. Now that we have that out of the way, I would like to tell you all a little theory of mine.

I believe that Robert Frost is a closet homosexual. Why? Recently, due to a class, I've been forced to read Frost's work, as well as do some research. Looking at "The Lockless Door", "Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening", and "Fire and Ice" (Not to mention a few others that are less obvious), it's clear as day the truth behind Robert Frost's orientation.

Now, I have no problem with this, as most atheists don't really give a crap about this sort of thing.

NEWS BREAK: I don't believe in God. My reasoning is that it makes no logical sense. However, I do respect the other religions, as long as they don't pester me about being atheist.

I found this information interesting, so I delve deeper. It would appear that Frost was also insane, hearing voices at a young age. Insanity ran in his family. Perhaps his nature was never opened in his mind until he used poetry as a means for venting it, and controlling it for his family. I have another theory, but out of respect for those who may be squeamish to offensive words like molestation, George W. Bush and rape, I shan't announce it.

Okay, I've messed with enough heads for one post. I'll see you sometime later.

Put the "Rum" back in African Drumming

Before I begin, let me apologize to my brother for intentionally delaying this post to make him think that I lost interest in the blog again...in response to his assumed response, I understand that he'll hurt me when he returns home.

I'm finishing up a break for a week. YAY!!!! Now that I have my incredibly silly moment out of the way, I'll just start by saying that I spent last Thursday night and Friday playing video games, with a hint of Saturday. What did I play? Well, I had two of my friends up, and we played Rock Band. I've played the game before, but after a night of practice, I finally can play the bass part on hard, and some songs on expert (And score over 90 percent)!

Anyway, onto the point of the title. Last Saturday, I went to an open mic night in a nearby town. The event wasn't held at a bar, or a cafe, but rather at an art gallery. A few people from all around came by, brought some food or drinks, and played an instrument. Overall, it was kinda boring. I sat there for a few hours listening to music I'd either already heard the previous time I was there, or didn't care about due to its boring nature. I played a song or two with my drummer friend, harmonized with a guitarist, and left wishing I'd stayed home and found a crappy movie online instead.

Still, there was one point of the night that got to me. At one point, there was a man who brought a multitude of African drums, and started drumming. I'm going to break down my reaction, step by step.

1. Okay, this is going to be interesting
2. Wow, impressive speed, but no rhythm
   
3. Still no rhythm
4. Finally...wait, he's back to just speed drumming
5. My god, it's been going on for 20 minutes now
6. How are people liking this?
7. The wheels on the bus go round and...oh, it's time to clap now...thank Chuck Norris

I appreciate the fact that people are trying to bring around a different culture to people who wouldn't otherwise understand, but it seems to me that we've taken certain things out of context. For example, we see a man at a party where everybody's wasted. We'll call him Steve. Steve is chatting up people in a language he and his drunk friend have created.

Let's take Steve out of this environment, and place him into a presidential inauguration. He'll play the part of a speaker. Steve starts speaking in this new language at the podium. Most are curious as to what he's doing, and believe it's a piece of art. As he stays in his drunken stupor (Steve is an attention whore) and speaks, people grow tired of not understanding what's said, and lose interest. It's then that Steve vomits and passes out, letting the Secret Service take him away.

If what I said makes any sense, you can help by encouraging others to seek culture combined. By that, I mean to incorporate African drumming in American rock. Modify recipes to include multicultural foods. Try making taco spaghetti one night. Basically, don't shortchange your own culture for another's when you can get more enjoyment out of combining them for your own style.

I hope I didn't offend anybody with this post. If I did, let me know how, so I can get a better perspective over what I did wrong, and how I can improve in the future. As a question to all of you, what's the worst public experience you ever had?

Make Pandora mandatory for all!!!

As I'm writing this fantastic blog, I'm listening to Pandora. For those who don't know what it is, I'm going to break it down like we were in Chemistry class.

1. Put in the name of a song or artist. The website will find music similar to that song or artist, and play it.
2. If you like it, you vote thumbs up. If not, vote thumbs down, and it's gone forever from that list.
3. There needs to be a step 3?

There are a few more cool things you can do with this program, but no matter what you like, you can find even more stuff you like. Pandora feeds my music addiction. Not only that, but it comes on the IPhone...I wish I had an IPhone. I think that their only next step is to replace all radio stations. Period.

So, if you are curious to what I'm listening to, let me respond. I am listening to a playlist for the Strokes. I also have one for Keane, one for the Rasmus, one for Tenacious D, for "The Luckiest" by Ben Folds, and a few more. It's a wonderful perk being able to customize your stations almost completely.

Some random notes to self: The Killers are a great band that have sunk into forgetfulness. Hot Fuss was a great album. Kill all humans. Buy milk.

So, it turns out I don't have a parasite. I checked today with a doctor at the school if I had a parasite. They said that I showed no symptoms, and that running the test would be pointless. In a way, I was a little upset. I was hoping that I was a parasite daddy. I would've raised it, and named it Steve. After it left me, I would've cried. Yet, I would've known that I had done a good job raising him.

So, goodbye hypothetical Steve. And this is a good end for this post. I'll talk to you guys later. Until then, long days and pleasant nights.

My Friend's Analysis of "My Papa's Waltz"

Analysis of "My Papa's Waltz"
by Ludwig Von Shrinkdik

Personally, I was not a fan of "My Papa's Waltz." It is respectable that he drinks whiskey, as shown by the first line of the poem, rather than simple cheap pisswater. However, real men should be able to hold their liquor enough to not star dancing with little children against their belt buckles. A real man drinks Captain Morgan's Spiced Rum and mutters to himself about the war.

Remember to post on my blog!

Well, it's been a while. Let me just give a quick recap of everything that I can remember that I did to tell you about.

• Played a gig at a local Cafe
• Watched a crapload of movies (Watchmen, I Love You Man, Watchmen again)
• Learned to fly
• Made up the previous fact
• Forgot to post on the blog

I just thought I'd come on and tell you some more fun stuff that's happened recently. In our school, the previous day, one unnamed individual took their own fecal matter and wrote the word "SHIT" on the wall with it. Now, I did not see this act, or the evidence, but when I heard of this act, I laughed. The first thought in my head was "What if they ran out of shit?" A few hours later, I was glad I wasn't there. I would've pulled out a marker and wrote "Thank you Captain Obvious" underneath.

However, there is a shining gleam of hope, which revolves around my return to Blogger, and my update schedule's on a random basis until I get back in the swing of it.

My next post is going to be in a few seconds, however, due to the next and final topic of this blog. My Reading Literature class has asked me to do a critical essay evaluation of a poem (out of 4 choices). I chose this poem, and I asked my friend to write the critical essay. You should enjoy it.

Enforce new superhero movies

God, will DC get their heads out of Batman and Superman? Yes, they're fantastic heroes, especially Batman, but they're not the only ones in their universe. I'm excited about Watchmen, and I can't get enough of the rumors of Green Arrow, Green Lantern, Wonder Woman, and more...but really, DC. I'm just not sure that we can keep on trusting your judgement after casting Val Kilmer and George Clooney as Batman...

And what about Superman Returns?! I saw that movie in Walmart today priced for 5 dollars! I laughed when I saw the 1989 Batman for 10, up there with X-Men.


MARVEL, don't even think about laughing. Sure, you did good with the Spiderman flicks, but did you even stop to think about your actions? Without any symbiote at the end of Spiderman 3, how could there have been Carnage for the 2 planned sequels?

---I actually have an answer for this, but I want to hear your answers---

Then, of course, there's the Punisher. What happened?! Were you guys so poor that you couldn't have bribed Thomas Jane to come back once more? My god! YOU NEVER CHANGE ACTORS IN A SERIES! Darkman did it, and it sucked...

Then again, you make so many sequels, we don't know where to begin...You should have stopped with X Men 3. Making the Origins movies is just. plain. stupid. Now you've got a whole slew of movies which are going to be good, coming out with movies that are just going to suck. Make up your mind!

Back to you, DC. Can I ask you a question? What's up with the lack of consistancy? Please tell me you're going to hire Christopher Nolan to make the next, inevitable, Batman film. He's done good for you in the past, like Tim Burton, but you discarded him without a second thought.

Whew, I've worked myself into a flurry. I see all this comic book crap that lets the good superhero stuff shine through (though I watch the new Watchmen trailers with growing fear). I need to just let it pass like a bad taco, and get back to worrying about normal stuff, like how the hell am I going to keep coming up with new things for this blog...

Anyway, I want to hear from you. What comics, graphic novels, or books do you think should be put into movies?

That's all from me. Long Days and Pleasant Nights.

Fund the cure for the common cold

I'm sick as all hell, and I just want to sleep. I'm gonna give a quick rundown of the past few days, though.

Prior to day one:
-Realize I have no clean clothes
-Wake up periodically to do laundry

Day one:
-Wake up, sleepy
-Do Calculus and Reading Lit. homework in Health
-Fall asleep in every class
-Contemplate Narcolepsy
-Realize I have a massive headache
-Get home, relax
-Write essay, half asleep, comparing and contrasting boring characters
-Sleep

Day two:
-Wake up in sweat, and drool, breathing out of one nostril/my mouth
-As I get dressed, I can't decide if I'm hot or cold
-Get stuff together
-All 4 doors on car stuck. FUUUUUUUUUUUCK!
-After 20 minutes, get car started and drive to school
-Do class-like stuff
-Practice with a friend for entertaining a senior citizen's dinner
-Realize by other's songs that I only know depressing music
-Microphones don't work too well with me, and I sound horrible playing guitar
-Return home
-Sleep until 6pm
-Wake up to go back to school with friend to sing for basketball game
-Come back, eat, write blog

I wouldn't mind either the cough or the lack of nostrils, if it weren't for the headache, which makes everything disoriented.

Anyway, that's my recent story. Now, I'm just going to relax, and try to get some sleep so I'm better in the morning. Sorry about the short post. I'll see you guys on Sunday. Until then, Long Days and Pleasant Nights to you all.

Quick question

I'm having a hard time finding a good layout. Any input, guys?

Hire people to make me a theme song

Who doesn't want their own theme? Just being able to walk down the street, and hear music suited to your mood, or to be going to the garage with dramatic music playing in the background would be cool.

I need a tool, but I'm not sure if there's a chainsaw wielding MANIAC in there!

Okay, so you have the ability to hire somebody to write your theme music, and record it. But...who do you get to write it? Choose carefully, wise one, between two of the "best" in the business:

John Williams: Known for his legendary pieces such as Star Wars, ET, Superman, etc. He is considered somewhat of a sham, as his music is often the same melody repeated in different beats and tempos. Recently, he modified an old religious tune for the inauguration, played by some of the most brilliant musicians to grace the world, and yet it was immensely boring.

Danny Elfman: Known for his immortal Batman, Beetlejuice, and the Simpsons. His style is as follows: take one catchy melody, and play it for 5 minutes, constantly adding a little bit to it, as to make the piece sound more passionate. Toss in quite a lot of trills in the background, and you've got a hit.

On one hand, you can have a surefire hit, knowing that it's worked before, it can work again. On the other hand, if it's a good melody, it'll stay in your head forever. That being said, the choice is clear:

Hire both of them, put them in a cage, and let them create a masterpiece for you.

Now that we have the piece of music, let's focus on carrying it around, and playing it at necessary times. Do we go for hiring a marching band to follow you around? Or more for a speaker system? In that case, wouldn't your music need to change to accommodate the music itself? IT'S A NEVERENDING CYCLE!!!!

My question to you is:

-Who would you hire to write your theme song (it can even be a rock band)?

In unrelated news, a friend of mine had a seizure today. It's a little less dramatic then how they make it look on TV. It was a wooooooooonderful way to start the morning, as he seized to Boston's "More than a Feeling" (I've been working on a joke for this all day. I just wish I could remember what a seizure was, and that I wasn't too lazy to Google it).

When he went, he didn't make a sound. He laid down to seize. The way we knew was that another friend saw him lay down, and realized what it was. We cleared the area, and got help quickly. Within 5 minutes, he was safe, with an ambulance called. I think we did damn well, and he's doing fine now. He was lucky enough to catch the signs and lay himself on his side before hand.

So, that's my day. I felt kind of bad afterword, because all I could think was, "Hmm...My first seizure witnessing. Not as bad as I thought it would look. Kind of makes me want to have one of my own." It's going on the list of depressing things I need to see or do before I die. The simple fact that I have a mental list of that stuff is number one on that list. Again, a vicious cycle. So, sorry for the long and boring post, but I'm going to go do stuff, like sleep, or...well, that's just about it.

Long Days and Pleasant nights to you all.

Help the homeless...for my amusement

Woohoo! Second post!

Let's face it. Everybody's had a time when things have been down, and you've hoped for somebody to lend a hand, be it financially, physically, or emotionally. I wouldn't mind being that guy that lends that hand to people in need. If I had the money, I would take in the homeless, and help them get their life back on track.

Now, where's the humor in that? There really isn't. If you can do something kind for one person, that's the humor and reward itself. However, if you must insist:

Coming soon to MTV:
"Home Sweet Home"

52 strangers are forced to live under the same roof for one year, as the world watches each week. The catch: they are all homeless. Carefully controlled, the contestants are put in trials as they struggle to overcome their addictions (and each other) to get their lives back on track. Each week, America will vote off one contestant, leaving one, who will win the house.

What do you think? Don't worry; each eliminated contestant will be given ten thousand dollars to help them return to their normal lives, along with help to deal with any psychological problems they may have.

Please, don't kick my ass over this one (OMG! HE SWORE!). You can leave hate mail, but I think it's a great way to help and entertain at the same time. Look at "The Biggest Loser". I think that's more harmful than helpful.

On an added note, I underestimated the annoyance of Calculus. There's a sort of timeline in math during school, where you start as a kid with a pencil with everything, and are used to it, being irked when your lead breaks, or that you constantly have to sharpen it. Then you get to high school, where they say, "You can't use pencil. Only pen." There's a sort of revelation there, and you get happy. Now, I'm back to pencil for Calculus. Yippee. It's like seeing a twenty dollar bill lying on the ground get picked up by a street sweeper and shredded. Horrible.

On that depressing note, I'll leave you guys with this question of Monday:

If you could help any one person in the world, who would you help? How? Why?

Don't forget, post, and I'll check your blogs. Until then, Long Days and Pleasant Nights to all!

Fill a swimming pool with jello

Hello. My name is Adam, and this is my first blog. I'm just going to go ahead and say that I look forward to being on Blogger, and checking out all of the cool blogs, stories, and advice that people have to share. My blog is about the childish dreams that we all have, and how I should not be allowed to think. And so, I'll title each of my blogs (I'm deciding on a schedule now...I'm thinking Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Sunday...we'll see) with one thing on my list of things I'd like to do if I were wealthy. I'm not saying millionaire wealthy, but enough to do what I want without worrying about the cost.

As you can see, the first is to fill a swimming pool with jello. Who hasn't wanted to do this? Every kid who's ever had jello has put a little equation in their head every time they walk past a pool.

Pool=Water
Jello=Powder+Water
Therefore, Jello=Powder+Pool.

Careful when modifying this equation, though...it could have dangerous side effects. (P.S. - I'm sorry Mr. Weiner, don't kill me)

I constantly get into a conversation with my friends over whether we would swim in it, or eat it. I personally would eat myself a hole underneath, so that you can go from one end to the other in an underground jello tunnel. What about you guys? Assume it's a pool similar to the ones at the YMCA, or a local pool you have. Leave a response if you'd like, or you can email me at

ifiwererich@ymail.com

Onward, there are a few things I'm going to be trying with this, as it is my first, and I'd like it to be enjoyable. If you have any question or comments, feel free to leave a message, and I will return it. Trust me, I have no life.

Also, while you're at it, drop a link to your blog, and I'll check it out. In fact, if you even respond to this blog, I will look at yours, and if I like it, I'll link it.

This is all I really have to say for my first blog. I'll be back to write one again on Monday, hopefully to be up some time between 3 and 6 pm. Until then, long days and pleasant nights to all.